Hello... Thi5 is DdyDdy

The suicide thoughts just really came because I think earlier I was exposed to so much Uncle Russ to the point to where I kinda felt like it ruined my adulthood. When I was younger I wish I listened to everybody that was older telling me “don’t do that just yet you should wait” or “don’t go to the club yet you should really wait until your 21 or you got nothing to look forward to.” So that’s what happened, for me being around Jermaine and everybody so young I was around EVERYTHING. So by the time I got 18, I was really 26 (laughs) and I didn’t wanna go to the club no more. When I got 20, I was like “Ok now I’m ready to get married.” Now I feel like I’m 40! So the older I got, I just noticed [I was different than] my friends…I was like “I can’t really hang with y’all” because they’d go to the club and I’ve done all that when I was 14. So it made me realize like “what am I here for? What am I living to do?”

I just got so stressed out because I felt like I did everything too fast and it didn’t leave me with nothing to look forward to. Now that I have my daughter I don’t even have those thoughts no more. Because now it’s like I got something to live for, I got more movies to go get, more records to go make because I gotta go hard for her now. So now I do have a purpose. So it took for me to have a dark period and pray to God that it’s all gone and now it’s a whole other ballgame. I’m just focused and it’s just me coming out being clean about my situation. It’s just a whole new outlook on life! It’s dope!